Out of the Mouths of Kindergartners

Among the graduating kindergarten clan at the small people’s school, there’s a fierce rumor going around about first grade and how the first grade teachers up the discipline game a little. One day after school, my daughter came home brimming with information meticulously gleaned during recess that day.

“Mommy, if you are naughty and get a card flip in first grade, you have to sit in a timeout chair like this.”

She demonstrated, sitting upright with her arms and legs ramrod straight, eyes wide and face motionless. 

She continued, “They make you sit in a chair for a long time and you can’t chalax.”

Now there was a head-scratcher. “You can’t what?” I asked.

“You can’t chalax,” she repeated, drawing out the last word.

I had a guess as to what she was really trying to say, but I wanted to hear her explain it, so I requested further clarification. She elaborated with, “You know, you have to sit really straight, and you can’t move or lean back or bend your legs or anything, even if you get really tired.”

“I think you might mean relax, not chalax,” I offered.

She regarded me skeptically, and then conceded, “Well, maybe.”

I returned to her concerns about the upgraded discipline policy that awaits her in first grade. “Well, honey, have you ever even gotten a card flip before?”

“No!” She looked offended.

“So why are you even worried about it?”

“Well,” she paused and assumed the voice of an adult imparting wisdom to a child, “No one can be good forever.”

You know what they say about the mouths of babes.

Therefore, knowing she was right, I did the thing begging to be done. I gave her a hug and told her to chalax.