Disney World, Part I

First things first. Thanks for all of your well-wishes regarding my back. I’ve survived, and am almost back to normal. However, there was another reason why my back drama was at the forefront of my mind last week.

We had tentatively planned a trip to Disney World from Wednesday night to Sunday. When we moved to our new island, one of the “selling points” we used with the small people to convince them that a move from the known to the unknown would be good for our family was the fact that our new island is closer to Disney World.

While it sounds simple enough, it turned out to be a mildly brilliant strategical move, because it worked. The small people agreed that the proximity advantage weighed heavily in the new island’s favor.

But then came the part where LCB and I had to pony up to the bar.

So, wanting to strike while the kids were still enthralled by this idea, LCB rearranged a business trip to arrive home Wednesday afternoon, just in time to hop in the minivan and head for Orlando. And then my back started back-talking (no pun intended), so we wondered if we should postpone our trip.

However, the small people were already psyched and the teachers had given us their make-up work, so we decided to go and hope for the best.

I’m happy to report that all of us survived with minimal pain considering we spent two full days hoofing it around two of the parks. In total, we spent three glorious days in the Wonderful World of Disney.

Essentially, the trip began with the small people helping LCB to load the minivan Wednesday afternoon. At one point, I asked my younger son to get a coat out of the back for me. When I came back a full minute later, he was laughing and doing this.

When I questioned him, his answer was basically that once he leaned over to get the coat, it was so much fun that he stayed that way. I can’t remember the last time I suspended myself over the back of a car seat, headrest wedged in my gut, for fun. Well, actually, it was probably back when I was a first grader too. My, how quickly and permanently times change.

Our first day at Disney, Thursday, was designated for Animal Kingdom. We’d been to Disney once before and spent two days at the Magic Kingdom on that visit. This time, we wanted to try a new park and opted for Animal Kingdom.

It is a rule in our family that anytime we go to a place where they give out maps, all three of our kids must have their own maps. Seriously, the small people are really into maps. In fact, the boys like to walk with their maps in hand and give running commentary on where we are at the moment and what is coming up next. They’re quite good. On this trip, our younger son was so accurate at telling us what was coming up next in Animal Kingdom that LCB told me he was replacing me with our son as the new driving navigator, because we’d obviously arrive at our destinations much sooner if our son assumed my post.

“Trust me, we’d all be happier with that arrangement, you Nazi-driving freak,” I snapped, but secretly, I really was thrilled with this development. Far be it from me to stand in the way of progress when progress also means more time for me to read non-map literature in peace.

We checked out many of the animals on our way to the Kilimanjaro Safari ride, which a park guide recommended we try first due to increasing lines as the day developed. On the way, we also picked up fastpasses (Disney allows you to bypass lines for a limited number of rides and a limited number of times with special “fastpass” tickets) to the Festival of the Lion King. In case any of you are planning a trip there soon, Disney is currently allowing you to obtain Lion King fastpasses even if you already have unused fastpasses for another ride. Apparently, this option is in the trial stage and simultaneous fastpasses are only available with the Lion King show.

In my opinion, Disney did a good job simulating the safari experience, and I can see why it’s a popular ride.

We ended up riding it twice, to see if we missed any animals the first time around. Mid-safari #1, however, my camera battery died, and I spent the rest of the day taking mostly blurry pictures of my index finger using my phone, thus confirming my decision to never, ever pursue wedding photography as a career. Among other things.

Next, we checked out the petting zoo, but the small people were not impressed, so we left and headed over to DinoLand U.S.A.

The TriceraTop Spin was one of the few what I would call traditional amusement park rides in Animal Kingdom.

I rode with my daughter, but at this disappointingly early point in the day, she declared a temporary moratorium on pictures using highly effective body language.

Later, my younger son and LCB braved the Expedition Everest rollercoaster, and afterward, my son declared that it was good that the rest of us didn’t go on it as it was “so cool but so scary.” Apparently, there’s a backward drop that’s unanticipated, which would have driven me into a dark, Gollum-like place from which I may never have returned, if I had ridden it. I despise roller coasters, even kiddie ones, and for the life of me fail to see how so many people consider them fun and exciting. I’d sooner jump on one of the torture devices at Medieval Times than ride a full-blown roller coaster. Anyway, it was with a slight touch of paternal pride that LCB told me later about how a kid behind my son was taunting him before the ride, saying he looked too small to ride it, and yet afterward, my son was largely unmoved while the taunting kid was “crying like a baby.”

About an hour before the park was closing, we headed to The Boneyard in DinoLand U.S.A., which, to my complete surprise, turned out to be the small people’s favorite part.

The digging site, in addition to having an area for fossil digging, has a huge play area with ropes, bridges, slides, tunnels, and an abundance of scary dinosaur sounds. And so they spent their last hour at Animal Kingdom, digging, climbing, sliding, and (this one was my favorite) hiding from the parental units.

Initially, I was disappointed to find out Animal Kingdom closed relatively early for a park, at 6 o’clock that evening. But after seeing everything, I think that was more than enough time to do everything our family wanted to do.

And of course, after the park closed, we rounded out the day with dinner at Rainforest Café, located at the entrance to the park.

Tomorrow, I’ll tell you about our non-park Disney day, fast becoming an Island Family tradition and important mental health day for the two oldest members of our family.